On Jan 11, 8:06 am, DP <***@destroypsychiatry.org> wrote:
My Grandfather Horton was a kindly old North Carolina farmer who
tended to drive his GMC pickup rather fast over the dirt roads of
One day, as he is driving to Raleigh, he is on the main highway when
he is stopped by a state trooper.
"Mr. Horton, you know that you were driving quite fast, indeed you
were well over the speed limit."
"Yes sir, I guess you have got me there," said my grandpa.
"I'm going to have to write you a ticket," replied the trooper, and
while doing so, he proceeded to lecture my grandfather on safe driving
techniques, and why he should not be driving so fast, and stuff like
As he is writing the ticket and lecturing my grandfather, the trooper
is bothered by a swarm of flies buzzing around his head.
Grandfather looks on with some amusement. "Well, Officer, I see you
are being pestered by circle flies. We got a lot of them down in this
neck of the woods."
The trooper stops his harangue and stares at my grandfather. "Yeah, I
guess so; but I never heard of circle flies."
"Well," replies my grandfather, "We get a lot of circle flies down
this way, as I said. We have a lot of farms around here, and circle
flies are real common. They tend to congregate around the rear ends of
horses and mules and such."
"Oh, I see," said the trooper, as he continued to finish filling out
"Hey, wait a minuite," he says, fixing my grandfather with a steely
stare. "You aren't trying to call me a horse's ass, are you, Mr.
"Mercy me," my grandfather replied. "Perish the thought! I would never
say anything like that to a state trooper. My granddaughter's husband
is also a trooper, and I am very much aware of what you fellers have
to go through. I have too much respect for him and other law
enforcement professionals to even think of calling you a horse's ass."
"Well, that's a good thing, then," said the trooper, and he went back
to work writing the ticket.
After a long pause, my grandpa, with that smile of his, quietly said,
"You just can't fool them flies, though..."